In the midst of all the trials and problems I faced…
I have convinced myself that I was making a great move in sacrificing things just to hang on to my family. It was an awful start, still being supported with people who love us and still not doing things on our own. A bit confused with what I am facing. Thinking that I have conquered and survived a horrifying experience as a wife.
Now I realized, the situation is still the same and it will never end. I will remain the wife. Someone that my husband usually puts down and never praised.
He still communicates with his concubine and I don’t know if they are still having an affair. I just don’t get it… I have given up everything, sacrificed most of the thing I know he might think and feel that I chose to be his wife. But the question remains if he still loves me. He always says that his feelings for me are not that strong because of what happened in the past. For me… he might be in love with that girl. I hate myself by letting it happen again. Am I that Bad… Am I that horrible… Am I still doing the wrong stuff… Shit it is hard to please him. I don’t know what else I can do just to have my family in the right track. Having no support by my husband is hard… Do you think there is still a chance? Should I remain the underdog? I don’t know. From what I know there are no right answers… I hate this part… understanding that that’s how life goes….